What is love?

[Daniel Blackhand]

Love is complex yet simple, easy yet hard, painful yet joyful. Now to explain my criptic answer.

Complex- Love is complex because noone can truly understand why they fall in love it is just something that is. Simple- It is simple because when you truly fall in love you know that it is right.

Easy- It is easy to love someone and be willing to do anything in the world to see them smile at you in that special way. Hard- Love is hard when you love someone who either doesn't love you in return or want to admit that they love you.

Painful- Love is painful when the person you love is mean to you or makes you feel bad or as happens dies and leaves you alone. Joyful- Love is joyful when you see the person you love smile at you in a way they only do for you.

Love is a combination of many different emotions, feelings and experiences. To love a family member such as a mother or father or sibling means that you will stick by them no matter what. In the case of a true love there are those such as myself that have found someone in which they would be willing to do anything including giving their own life to ensure the safety and happiness of the one they love. To me people who say there is no such thing as love have had bad experiences in which someone they loved has greatly wronged them. Humans are born with love and only gain hatred by cultivating it in their own hearts.
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[Starslasher]

[TheAngelicSin]

Now all we have to do is wait for George to show up with his ingenious simplifications and explanations on life and how he's been so stupid as to miss it all these years. :)

Ahh, long distance relationships I heard can be really tough. My 'friend,' if you would, is in one now (or isn't? I don't know, haven't spoken to her in a while since she doesn't want to be reminded that she's a junior in highschool still and me being in Uni reminds her she's 2 years behind o.o;...). She had a lot of problems - her biggest one still being that she's paranoid. She constantly accuses anyone she's with of cheating on her. It's quite sad really. Her boyfriend started talking to me through AIM once, which he wasn't allowed to do according to her, something about him falling for me if he ever spoke to me... I don't know she could be a little messed up... and I remember him complaining about her accusations saying something to the effect of, "I swear, if she keeps accusing me of doing it I'll be tempted to do it just because I'm thought to do it already!"

Eh, I know of too many people that have been burnt by being cheated on. :| And strangely enough I can't seem to think of anything that went on during those conversations I've had with those people (the details that is).
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[El Regrs]

I don't know why people cheat...then again, I've never been in a situation where I absolutely felt I had to cheat.

I would eventually forgive cheating, but I wouldn't stay with the guy unless he'd been drugged against his will or something, or if it had been a matter of life or death, and even I'd question how it would even get to that kind of situation.

And if someone was trying to use me to cheat on someone else, using excuses like, "Oh, the magic just isn't there anymore" or "we haven't been together in a long time," I'd have to say no. If he cheats once, he will probably cheat again. And if the magic really has gone as he claims, he should at least have the decency to end the relationship first before thinking of pursuing anything else.

[Kohaku]

well, my mother at a time knew that father was cheating.
There's words that I can't forget, said by her "Dear, I knew that you're cheating on me. But I pretend i didn't know. It's my duty as a wife to make our house comfortable, for both my husband and my children. I love you nonetheless".
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[Locke]

Being cheated on royally sucks. Yeah, I had the pleasure to find that one out first hand.... Being the inocent one in that situation really angered me. How can a gal go from talking about God and all that stuff one minute with some people the next go off in a car with some guy and get it on...

Thats a feeling I never wanna feel again. That is why since then I've been a pit more picky in the game of love. Though that could explain why I've been single for 2 years now, maybe to picky. Though, that may or may not be a good thing. Only time will tell.

But yeah love can hit ya quick and either hurt ya bad or make you the happiest person on Earth. Its very fickle that way.
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Legendary Locke


3 Time Suikox WWE Fantasy Champion

[TheAngelicSin]

Schala, I hope your mother is okay. I mean my mother was separated from my father a few years back so eventually he got a new girlfriend and my mother suddenly went from disliking him to wanting him back just because she didn't want anyone else to be with him. Now they are divorced and living together. ^^; I don't understand them sometimes but they do love each other behind all the sarcastic remarks and all. And just so you know, my mother left my father and not the other way around - he never cheated. x_x They were actually legally separated for about 3+ years by the time he found a girlfriend.

Locke, although I don't know what it's like to be cheated on I know what it's like to be pulled along on a string without knowing where you stand. The guy I liked truly put me through a load of bull. It gets to the point where I wish I had never met him because it feels like he's wasted so much of my time and I messed up so badly at that point in my high school career. Although he may have become my friend I will never care for him the same way and can only talk to him when it's via the internet or the phone - because when I see him all the sadness flows back into my heart and memories that were supposed to be buried resurface in a flash. And it's not just because I see him; it's because of what he says to me. I don't like being flirty most of the time and he'll just suddenly start flirting with me and telling me I'm sexy (I really don't like hearing this one when it feels so artificial) and mysterious... to just start talking about some girl he likes that he wants to ask out but is upset because she likes someone else...

I became more cautious because of that past heartbreak and I can imagine why you're exercising caution yourself. Although it may be a bad thing to roll up into a ball and stay to yourself it may also do some good to be alone for a while to reflect. Personally I've never been in a relationship because something ALWAYS goes wrong with anyone I've ever liked. And those that like me don't TELL me until they have girlfriends and then they're like, "I had such a big crush on you for months :) I was upset that you didn't like me, too." At this point I'm cocking my eyebrows at them wondering, what? :|

In Uni I'm flooded by guys I don't care for and who seem to care about nothing more than the fact that I'm female. This disheartens me and allows me to feel secure about being single - but at the same time scares me because I have a hunch that I'm going to be followed around quite a bit up here - and I really don't like people pestering me if they hold no real connection with me. Although, I have to admit I've become a bit interested in a guy here that has a certain aura about him that makes me feel at ease. The only thing I can think to say is he's like a wolf - he travels alone for the most part. He's the opposite of the guy I once cared for and that may be the only reason...

I hope things go right for you, though. :)
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[Kohaku]

Don't worry, Angelic Sin, it's happy ending.
The woman, my father's girlfriend, was my mother's friend from a long time ago. She's 37 but I myself admit that she's still pretty.
About 3 months after it, her husband is dead. She had a daughter which, sadly, was my classmate. Her daughter later was pregnant and had the baby aborted.
It's too much problem for my father to carry on with his girlfriend, so he's back to us, his family. I puched him in his face before I forgave him, and he sore that he won't cheat on us again. And our family back again as one :D
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[Locke]

Yeah, the whole being single reflecting thing is working well for me. Espically now that I'm taking a year off of college to figure out where I wanna go to next. I went to a local 2 year college and I earned really the only degree there a person can get. Also with my ex finally going to college out of the area where I live sure does help.

In the past about 3-5 months now I think that I've changed. My outlook on life is becoming more different, and not in a bad way. My personality is slowly but surely getting on the more positive side. And even more slowly, but again surely my self confidence and the like with just simply talking to women is getting better. For the longest while I had trouble just looking at them when I talked to em but that bit of shyness is getting better. Will I ever attempt anything with the few women I've been talking to lately is highly doubtfull. But I see the fact that the self confidence finally coming back as the important part.

Now once that is better the ol fear of commitment problem has to be worked on. Then again, what guy isn't afraid to commit?

Wolf comment made me chuckle, people always kinda saw me as a loner, or lone wolf in a way.
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Legendary Locke


3 Time Suikox WWE Fantasy Champion

[Stormbringer]

I think that depending on your personality or the way you were raised, it changes your outlook on 'love'.
Love could be physical or emotional. I have different feelings of love for my friends than I would a 'crush'. Likewise I would feel differently about a pet or appliance than I would a family member...well mostly.
I think that love for the 'special' person, and i mean sex,marriage, till death do we part and the whole shebang would be deeper and more meaningful than any other type of love. I also believe that there are 'soul-mates', by this I mean more of a person who completely fits your personality, more than the whole past life thing(but that's another story).
But that's just me and considering I've never been in a relationship and probably never will be due to my lack of commitment and apatheticness I might not have it right...
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Set 'em on Fire!

[TheAngelicSin]

Schala, I hope things will become peaceful in your family. It's still gotta be painful for your mother, though.

Locke, it's not only the guys that are afraid to commit. I mean sure, I know plenty of females who can't think of anything but committing to a guy almost right away - but I find that ridiculous. I myself, as a female, couldn't think of just settling down with someone so early in life. I'm kind of scared of making a bad decision when it comes to who I'd be with - which is why I value friendship more than anything else now.

It's good to hear your self confidence is coming back - I had problems with mine once this jerky guy I liked once completely ridiculed and put me down. Stuff ranging from my interests, to my looks, to my weight. ;P Pah, and when I lost weight (from swimming) did that guy gawk at me. Complete ass.

People usually tell me I'm a loner, too, which is why I brought it up. I'm not exactly the most social person to grace (?) the face of the Earth. In fact, I quite like travelling solo most of the time. ;P Or with very few people with me - usually only one to three.
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[Starslasher]

If you got friends, does that make you a loner? i mean, i tend to walk alone around campus the majority of the time, but that doesn't mean that i got no friends in Uni. But I'll admit though, that i usually spend most of my time by myself when i could hang out with my friends. Bah, i just like to think by myself, insterad of having someone ask, "What're you thinking about, hm?"

I do plan to get married, but like TheAngelicSin said, it's too early at this stage of my life, turning 20 years of age and all. Until i'm financially secure, making a serious relationship is not for me. As for realting the "Lone Wolf" talk from Angela's quote:

[TheAngelicSin]

Haha, yeah, I potentially COULD have quite a group of friends travelling along with me but for the most part I PREFER having fewer people with me because than it feels more personal. At the same time I also don't like hanging out with the same person constantly.

In fact, hanging out with the same person constantly got on my nerves last year - so much so that I lost a "friend" in the process. ;P There was a girl I used to hang out with a lot who had a lot of restrictions placed on her by her parents - not allowed to date, not allowed to eat too much, not allowed to eat out (did all the time anyway), not allowed to be out after 3PM - Yes you read that right 3PM!!

Anyway, as the story goes I was having quite a trip in AP Physics and wanted to do my best in the class - so I would normally go home quite early to study for the class (I went around an average of 3 hours per day, including weekends, studying for Physics!). As it happens, my "friend" thought this meant I no longer wanted to hang out with her and started accusing me of being a very crappy "best friend." I explained it to her a million times that it was VERY important to me to do my best in my physics class because I highly respected my teacher and genuinely liked the topic - but had some problems with it at the moment since I missed a few days of school, at various points in the school year, and had to catch up with key points I may have missed. Well, the accusations continued on and didn't stop no matter how many times I would tell her my side of the story.

One day came when I was very happy because I received a few high grades in a row for my Physics class. I decided I wanted to go out to eat with some friends to celebrate and she wanted to hang out with me that day... which would have been somewhere around 2PM to 2:45 when she would have to be home - meaning it would be nothing but walking her home and then either walking the rest of the way back to my place or taking the bus. So I ended up asking her if she wanted to come with me and my friends who made plans earlier in the school day to hang out at Dunkin Donuts for some treats after a hard day's schoolwork! Suffice it to say she took this as another sign of me being a crappy friend and that I was selfish not to walk her home...

It got to the point that I started feeling as though I was in a really bad relationship and one day I told her to please not upset me 'cause I had something important to do the next day (quiz - but I didn't tell her this). Well she told me on the phone to check my e-mail and that she'd talk to me later. ;P As you guessed, it was an email about me being a crappy friend and how she no longer wanted to be my "best friend" but wanted to remain "friends." She basically wrote how I was selfish for always going home to study and then running off with other friends instead of walking with her. >.<

After that I decided being alone most of the time wasn't such a bad idea. ;P I still enjoy keeping close friends but I make sure they're not so... attached to me. That's why I consider myself a loner now. I don't want anyone to try getting too close to me so neither of us can get hurt like the case above with that girl. And I guess this can relate to the topic at hand as love in terms of friendship.

So being a loner has nothing to do with how many friends you have - but how you decide to cope with your own emotions and time. I do hang out with groups of people that definitely go over 3 people in size (in fact I went to the dining hall with 5 people today whom I speak to quite frequently in the lounge). But again, I prefer to keep to myself for the most part or with very few people by me. x_x I hope that made sense. *Dies*
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[Starslasher]

Angelic, it is a pity of what happened to you and your friend. It's probably way too late to give any advice on it at this time, but perhaps this will help you with your other friendships.

We know that you become friends with peopel you like. But you also know that there are some things about them that gets on your nerves. Perhaps the most important aspect in all friendships is....*drum roll* :arrow: ...forgiveness :!: Of course they will do seomthings to get on your nerves, but you must forgive them, or have them forgive you. Like what Donkey said. "That's what friends are for, right?"

From your story, i feel like i'm only getting one side of it. From your story, it seems that like ex-best friend was a complete moron, which makes it not very plausible. Sorry :P

I guess it's the same with the realtionships you guys were talking about. If they cheat on you once, it's in your heart to forgive them.

[TheAngelicSin]

Trust me, I understand what you mean about it sounding one-sided. ;P It's no skin off my back to know it either. And sometimes she did act a little.... more on the moronic side than not.

I couldn't say something like "please forgive me for not being there for you," etc etc etc. because I didn't feel it was in my place to apologize. Sure, I abadoned her for the other friends but I had the plans made with them before she even said she wanted to hang out - so I see no reason why her wanting me to walk her home would serve as a priority over my wanting to celebrate good grades, etc. with other friends of mine. It made no sense to me and so I didn't feel sorry because I *DID* technically invite her... and there were times she broke the rules her parents set down so it wasn't absolutely going to be a "no" answer to hanging out with us.

Trust me, as a person I'm quite soft for people who want to be forgiven and I also say "I'm sorry" more often that I feel I should. I sometimes say sorry even when I shouldn't to resolve arguments between my friends and me because they think something went wrong and start fighting about nothing important. o.o; So in those cases I'd say forget it, I'm not going through this and just apologize. This, of course, could backfire though. ;P I realize.

The friend I described though... I had a very bad history with her and I think the only reason I started hanging out with her was because we apologized to one another about the bad blood between us from the previous two years. =\ A lot of things went wrong for us. She made me lose a childhood friend of mine that she was dating because both of them decided I was trying to make them break up due to jealousy (this guy asked me out later and trust me - I said no because I was never interested in him in the first place...) and I caused some problems with her and the guy she liked... although this was because we both liked the same guy - still not a good reason and the fault was between us both.

Ah, I also had a problem listening to her problems - so that was a reason she may have also complained about me being a crappy friend. As stated, I've always been single so I'm not great at advising people when it comes to relationships and couldn't help her with the guy she'd been crushing on forever even though he was my friend... Which also didn't work out nicely because his girlfriend is also my friend... so I got a bum rap in that one no matter which side I'd choose. x_x

But yeah, I may have made her sound like a moron... and in a few ways I do consider her to be one in certain aspects. ;P I'm sorry but there's too much bad history to say much good about her. Hm, I guess she can be nice, she's caring, a little overprotective but caring, and she's quite smart in a range of topics (mostly humanities and social sciences - the opposite of me ^^;;...).

M'eh. >_<
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