What is love?

Schala-Kid · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 7:12 am Post subject: What is love?

feel the ♥♥♥ :roll:

so i'll admit it, i got no idea what love is. i have some rough guide, but time after time, i get confused as to whether what i think is valid or a just really pessimistic so much so that it contains no elements of what "love" is. i see people damn near mating in public, and think "no, that's not love", but it's only because all romantic experiences i've encountered have never invoked such insatiable desires, of needing some level of intimacy in public.

also, love i don't believe would make me cry. today at dinner with a friend, she admired my "take it or leave it" approach to love, and while i think it's "Sensible" in that i remained unflappable by loves trials, such that if something comes in opposition with my core beliefs, i would seldom bend in, as it goes with my independant nature. yet i also question if it some self protection mechanism. my friend has shared many "Tears" for love, and so i question whether what se experiences is love. i feel it's a result of time value. of course, who is one to question what another person feels, but when trying to resolve one's own position and perspective in love, the only places to draw information to make a valid judgement is other people's decisions, arguments and experiences when one has little exposure to the matter, thus, this topic.

of course love is going to be interpreted differently from person to person, and it isn't always the case that someone older is better experienced in the matter. so please take this into account before you scoff and roll your eyes at another person's beliefs on this matter, but feel free to politely disagree.

important elements are trust, equality/respect, friendship. the romantic version of love also involves attraction in the physical hormonal and intellectual sense, and the more succesful romantic relationships, a willingness to compramise and forgive as is often present in succesful friendships and familiar(as in family) interpretations of love.

discuss family love, friendship and romantic love here. quotes, thoughts, experiences and so on. no body secretions kthx, that stuff makes me queasy!

Kohaku · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 7:38 am Post subject:

What is love?
I think love is a very fragile thing, where a lot of people talking about love while in a very short time they broke their love.
To me, the main thing is likeness. Love will fade away sometime, but if you like a person, believe me that love will grow, and it will be for long. it won't fade. Me and my girlfiend is an example (yes, i'm a man :mrgreen: ). She is my first girlfriend, and we have been together for 5 years (Now I'm eighteen). The main thing is to treat your lover as how you treat yourself, so there would be no change of things when you're married. Another thing, love your lover like you love yourself.
To me, love is mainly about not being alone. That's my purpose of having a girlfriend. I don't have much friend, since I'm not good at making friends (you can count it with your fingers).
And so my oppinion goes, my Schala sister... :wink:
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Schala-Kid · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:05 am Post subject:

thanks for posting schala bro! haha!

but you raise 2 things that i disagree with! i do believe love will mean that you wont be alone, but while for some that is a legitimate driving force to be in romantic love with another, it isn't sufficient for me. of course i have a fear of being a spinster, yet i feel that it's not purely a result of my human need for companionship or societial attitudes which have influenced me to an extent to believe a life of solitude isn't one to be happy about looking forward too.

also, the time value of love. not to pick on you, but i think some people can experience real love in a short span, and some others can be in 'love' for many years, but never have known "real love". again, this further confuses me, as there's no "right" or "wrong".

i think a lot of problems people i encounter in my age group is this warped perception of trust's importance in love. i had the experience of a long distance relationship which lasted over a year in it's LD form, then another year in the "normal" form. a lot of questions where "how do you know he's not going to cheat on you, or check out some other girl - that's what guys do"

and i found this sexist and juvenile, it's easy to see why it's sexist, but juvenile as there's there was horror in their tone when i put it to them that i didnt care if he'd look because i trust him enough. i was still pretty young, so i guess discovering the trust aspect in an "easy" manner has made me a lot more critical of prospective love interests, in that if they refuse to trust me or are jealous in nature, i take it to mean they want control over me, and i don't see that as a part of a healthy relationship, and would probably not even fight over it, just leave - it's pretty darn important to not feel dominated.

also, this experience had left the aspect of physicality as unimportant to my view on love. which is what scares me of all other people now - the majority view in my age group is that sex is often an expression of love, and not such a big deal, that it's part of every health relationship, and there's a pressure to fall in line with the general view, or miss out the opportunity of "love". but i'm much too stubborn for that, thankfully. :shock:

TheAngelicSin · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:29 am Post subject:

Hmm, interesting question with many answers and riddles behind it.

Personally I don't think you should have to shed tears in love. I always kinda stuck with the, "The only [guy] worth your tears won't make you cry." This is a result of a past event of course...

Two years ago when I was 16 I held deep feelings for a guy I knew. He wasn't extraordinarily handsome or incredibly intelligent; nor did we share too many interests when we first met. But still, something made me like him more with each turning day. I eventually became such good friends with him that we would hang out almost every other day after school and sometimes on the weekend, too. This was a result of my friend telling me to invite him to the movies she wanted to take me to on my 17th birthday. So all was good and well...

We kept going places together and he would "flirt" like crazy. You know all the random sweet bull girls come to expect :roll: . That should have been the number one warning sign for me when I realized he was saying really stupid sweet things he didn't mean followed by something stupid about some silicone actress.

Obviously things went sour. I told him I liked him but his excuse was that he was busy with school, "But Jenn, you're the perfect girl and would be the ideal girlfriend for me." Yes, it was phrased THAT way. So you could imagine how upset I was when I kept liking him only to tell him again, ya know, nudge nudge - wake up boy, you're still "flirting." Again, all that "you're so sexy," etc. crap.

Well, to make this long story a little shorter... I was heartbroken because he kept repeating this cycle with flirting and telling me he didn't like me in that way. I told him to stop flirting with me but it didn't work so I finally decided to stop crying and stand up on my feet and walk away.

So after that experience I'm iffy on love.

I think love isn't something you look for or something that is found.

Love is something that's created between two people who become the closest of friends. It's when you can share your thoughts and not expect to be laughed at or ridiculed. It's when you finally find someone who you can say understands you.

I won't lie and say that means physical attraction isn't there in the formula... it is, but it's not always based on the "hotness" of the person, if you get what I mean (ie. the general form of who's hot).

Just my 2 cents.
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Edge Riou · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 11:35 am Post subject:

What I think love is.

Love is a very hard thing to explain because it differs from person to person. So many people have different ideals because their personalities are different therefore the one they love and what they think about it will not be the same for others.

Now I will admit, I have never had a girlfriend :cry:, but that has left me a lot of time to think about it. For me my problem is that I am way to shy and I just don't ask someone of their feelings for me. This is likely because I am afraid of being let down or hurt. EverydayI tell myself to get it together and just tell the woman who I care for, but I just can't. That was just a little something about me I am sure not many would guess, but enough about me, this is about love.

Though I have never experienced love personally I have found out what I think will tell you in your mind if you are in love. No, it won't be a sign in flashing lights, it will be something you feel. My advise would be to "experiment." What I mean by that is once you find someone you think is special, go out will multiple other people (not at once, that would be bad). After dating them for a while (this is just one outcome) you will day wake up and decide you cannot be apart from the first special person and you will know you love him/her. That was just one possibilitiy. I hope this helped you a little to understand love.
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Snowe Vingerhut · Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2004 12:07 pm Post subject:

'Love: a score of zero (as in tennis)' - Websters Dictionary

So if you take the definition of love from Webster's above, love is a big zero, nada, nothing, & empty emotion.
And since it is an empty emotion, that would mean it's not really there, and that would mean that there is a lot of hype over nothing.

So in closing, everybody in love ends up with a score of zero... Which means that they're all losers.

Lover = Loser

......simple.

(I personally have been in love lots of times, and I just don't get anything back in return.... perhaps my cats have been cheating on me. No?)

Icebergin · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:18 am Post subject:

To descrive love....

I must quote a movie.

And it's not even a movie I like... but here's the duet between uh... I forget the characters, but the actors were Ewan McGreagor (Star Wars Bad Ass) and Nicole Kidman (HOT WOMAN! WOW!) in... uh... Moulin Rouge...

TheAngelicSin · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:49 am Post subject:

"Ewan: We could be heroes, Just for one day
Nicole: You, you will be mean
Ewan: No, I won't
Nicole: And I... I'll drink all the time"

I just found that particular part of the whole to be extremely cute. ^^; I'll drink all the time? Ah, what a thing to say. :mrgreen:
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Saben · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:00 am Post subject:

Love? Probably one of the biggest conflicting ideas in the world. Love is everything, love is nothing.

A good friend of mine from another forum gave the following definition of love:- "Love means: respect, honor, joy, sorrow, commitment, truth, passion, compassion, fealty, loyalty, humor, sadness, perseverance, strength, weakness, forgiveness, generosity, hope, duty, inspiration, devotion, tenderness, understanding, acceptance, compromise and promise."

It is still love if you cry, what matters is whether or not you keep on going after crying. You cannot expect to have a relationship where you never get upset, but you should expect a relationship where you can resolve things through compromise and discussion whenever you do get upset. Love lasts beyond death and yet it is so random, it lacks so much meaning, but it is its meaningless that gives it meaning.

Moulin Rouge is a great movie and that song and also "Come What May" express some of my sentiments regarding love. I'll quote the latter:

TheAngelicSin · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:07 pm Post subject:

Alucard · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 5:12 pm Post subject:

Love is not what you say..
love is what you do for the one you love :)
Thats how I see it :p

Myself haven't founded true love :)
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Proud Blade of the Nameless Lands, Alucard, Blade of Shadows

kuwaizair · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 7:23 pm Post subject:

pinical of irratonality, yes, read the science! I am the slayer of dreams and the decmimater of the heart, once you learn then you'll never be the same.

when in love, either motherly love or romanticly sexual the part of the brain that involved Vulcan-like rational thinking is terrbily hinderd, somone can be the world's worst person and the one in love with them may think they could do no wrong.

what a sad world.

I also "could" has apsengers syndrom, or other emotional-mental type alimeents that make me a little "void" who knows, I've only felt somthing like love once, the boy made me stupid and gave me dog-like seperation anxioty when he'd go, he was taken from me.
pitty.
lucky for me I see lots of fluff bunnie-mary sues have their love life fail, it makes me happy, it makes me tingle, more so when i think "oh shut up you ^&%4 damnit taste lonlyness twit" and "poof" alas, alone they be.

i cannot reas people, like I said it could be a real illness that makes it so, the only way I can see if somone loves me is if they act like the nitwits I see on the internet the "oh my hubby/fiance/luver/mate/ect gave me this, gaveme that, did this, did that, bought me a web page, killed somone all for widdle me"
of course there are those moronic teeneasychick 'zeens that tell you "how to tell if he loves you" I read the bloody list and nothing, no boy knows so much bout me, no boy ever invited me to dinner wihtout us being an item.

loveless I am, but it keep me smarter, I find I make attachments when somthing terrible comes about. its not a good idea and thanfully i can find things that make me not want "him"
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If you want to know what love is, read what the science has written and read up on the forms of love, not all love is dating and mating, it can be like a deep friendship or somthing of the likes.

l----
sorry for the spelling, I am full of emotion, it makes me excited and act hasty
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Jebus · Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2004 11:03 pm Post subject:

Oh great. Now I have that song by Hadaway stuck in my head.

Anyway. I can't even claim to know what love is, having never experienced it outside of my family, however I can offer several cliches. Oh happy day!

Nowadays, love isn't LOVE if you know what I mean. Love today is: "Oh I love him/her so much. We have sex everyday." That is not love, its lust, and many people seem to have this misconception. Very few people can honestly say they "love" each other, and what their love is varies. It could be how they feel about each other, or just some feeling they don't understand, but feel is right.

Anyway, that's it with the cliches. I tried.
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TheAngelicSin · Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 12:43 am Post subject:

Yay, love cliches! Exactly what that guy I used to like seemed to think was love! ... ;P Blarrrgh.
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Filipe · Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2004 4:35 am Post subject:

That depends on what kind of answer you are looking for. If you are looking for an answer in terms of a physical nature than it is a chemical reaction in your brain brought on by the animal instinct to not only procreate but also for the psychological need to be needed by someone else. To feel that you mean something to someone and it's not just family, it's the need to be cared for and to care for in all matters. Now from the other standpoint it really varies on the individual of what love means to them.
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