Gremio's Album

Noah · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:35 am Post subject: Gremio's Album

The story of GREMIO'S ALBUM

In the time following the Young Master's most fabulous quest to save the Toran area, and briefly starring in the conclusion of the Dunan war, where he (ever so bravely) assisted another hero's "liberation army" in ridding the neighborhood of that ghastly unfashionable Beast Rune... Gremio had alot of time on his hands, with the whole "sitting out of that war" thing that he did. Following the young master, Gremio slowly put together the greatest idea he'd ever had. He was going to brave the most dangerous territory imaginable, with no immediate threat, or musical talent whatsoever, Gremio will TACKLE THE MUSIC INDUSTRY.

The man: Gremio, of the green cloak, messed up hair, and the AXE.
The album: "Rose Petals for the Young Master" set to debut this fall.

Now, Gremio himself will clue us in on this jazz... this is the first Suikoden crossover in this fashion, and Gremio has thankfully allowed me to interview him about his upcoming album.

Gremio: "It is how you say... the best day of life... next to of course the first day Y.M. 'get's me'... but that hasn't happened yet."
me: "OK Gremio, the public is really curious, why release an album?"
Gremio: "I think that people have got a wrong impression of me, and I would just like to let them know how things are."
me: "How so?"
Gremio: "People seem to have written me off as some tag-along who doesn't belong in combat... you people need to know my passion!"
me: "(awkward...)"
Gremio: "I want to tell the public about all those awesome songs I wrote."

1) "Rose Petals for the Young Master"
Gremio: "It's about like, victory and stuff, and all that triumphing that was done by us after we defeated all that truly bad stuff. I mean, 'Baby Jesus in a Bus-Station Bathroom!!!', NO ONE messes with Y.M. This song, a very masterful work that it is, but you know that, if you take the first letter of each line there is an absolutely filthy from me to Y.M."
me: "Can you... divulge... this secret to us here...?"
Gremio: "I'd like to, but you know... SPOILERS!!"

2) "It's Gremio Time"
Gremio: "Indeed it is... Gremio time. This will be like the number one dance single in the entire world... like even Iksay and Sajah will be rocking this it'll be like, what's the word? Oh, splendifabularious. It's all blast beats, and dirty talk, it's more than you can stand. Two things is like the best: chocolate, and sadomasochism."

3) "The Darkest Place"
Gremio: "Remember when I died and went to hell?"
me: "Yeah, that was like my favorite part of the game... just kidding."
Gremio: "I know, but like that was SO not the worst thing to happen to me that week, I mean, I got turned down by Kirkis AND whatshisname, the second blacksmith, the cute one in green, like me. Oh well, I went to hell and it was so UN-SPECTACULAR, this song is about my time in that twisted mess of sadness... being away from Y.M. was so hard... I made stew every day... speaking of which..."

4) "Recipe #34" (The Stew)
Gremio: "Try the stew... it's TO DIE FOR!! It's... um... words cannot describe the flat out... awesomeness. Try it... do you like it?
me: "Yeah, it's pretty good, what's in it?"
Gremio: "Have a little more and I'll tell you what's in it... oh yeah... That's right... I made it with my very own [EDITTED]"

(at this point, I had to go throw up)

5) "A.X.E."
Gremio: "This piece of brilliance was made by me because I personally don't believe enough people out there understand... or can fathom just how much the young master means to me. I mean, come on! I made this downright lovely axe, with the engraving 'YM4EVR'. It's like everytime I killa monster, I'm doing it for him. It's my A.X.E... to the O.A.T.H... talk about sheer fabulocity."

6) "The Hatred of Viktor"
me: "Come on, Viktor was one of the key figures in the Toran war..."
Gremio: "I never did like that brutish bastard Viktor... ever since he showed up the young master became such a rebellious lad... I suppose we can owe him for helping my being famous and all, and me releasing this album... but I STILL HATE HATE HATE VIKTOR! He robbed me! He made fun of me! Look at my hair!! This song speaks for itself."
me: "Didn't he also try to stop you from going into Milich's domain...?"
Gremio: "Shut up."

7) "Overrated"
Gremio: "The perfect follow up to that song dissing Vik. You know, Suikoden is into it's 5th (some would argue 8th) entry now... thus little wonder is about how many others of the 108, what are they up to...? Let's see... 108 x 5... that's like 50 people!! 50 people who are stronger than me... listen to the names of those who need an asskicking... dance as I chant 'DIE PES MER GA"... oh I get so flustered when I stop thinking about the young master... oh there it is... everything's fine now, like him."

8) "Pahn is a Massive Tool"
Gremio: "Ever since I laid these baby blues on Pahn... Teo's manservant, I need he would be trouble. Trouble like the writing on the wall in a biker bar bathroom... Pahn sold out Y.M. shortly after the opening of the first game, remember that filthy hobag Kraze? Well, Pahn ended up coming back and kicking his ass, then we KILLED that ho. Fortunately Pahn was there for us later, because he ended up redeeming himself by keeping vicious master Teo at bay so Y.M. could escape. Oh well, water under the bridge, Pahn and I go shopping every Tuesday. Pahn is just glad people remember his name."

9) "Flower General"
me: "Here's a subject that all of the suikofans should be able to relate to."
Gremio: "This song is NOT about Milich... I repeat, it is SO NOT about Milich... there. It's about me taking over that title, and looking fabulous while doing so. I will shed this drab green cloak, and embrace the rainbow that exists within my soul."

10) "Sorry Master Teo (2004)"
Gremio: "This is my sorry for, the year 2004... ha just kidding... but really, I said this so damn much during Suikoden one (the best one, mind you, the only one where I let you play as me) that I might as well just stick a beat behind it and release another hit single."

11) "Paradise (Y.M. and Me in my van)"
Gremio: "Um... this song should speak for itself... no comment."

12) "I Need a Man (That's Hung Like a Horse)"
Gremio: "Umm... hmmm... yeah... I went through this phase where I followed Humphrey around for awhile... that's when I wrote this... yeah."

13) cover of WHAM!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
Gremio: "When I tended to the young master back in the eighties, I was going through this difficult phase in my life with my dad... God rest his soul... and this song... really helped me through some tough times... My dad never did 'get me'... not like he tried... but whatevs. How do like me now, Dad? I'm a singing sensation! And I look fabulous!"

me: "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."
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JOWAH · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:05 am Post subject:

Oh my.... this is hilarious :°D
If I'll remember and if I'll be in the right mood, i HAVE TO make a pic of this "musical" Gremio xD; (probably i'll forgot and never do it)
Mwhaha : D
Love love love
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Jibrille 's Protector

Bright Shield Rune bearer · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 6:12 am Post subject:

Omg this is just too hilarious ( I need a man [hero].... i fell from my cahair when I read it)...

U should do this with Nanami (her being nervous over everything)... jeeez.
Good work *clap clap*!!!
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Forgiver's Sign

Noah · Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

I made a picture for the would-be cover of Gremio's album...

"Pearls and rose petals for the young master" which I shortened to just "rose petals"...

How hard is it to draw Gremio? Just draw some dude with like, an octopus on his head. Gremio looks vaguely like Cloud Strife too, but a lot of people, including that dude who's playing my copy of 2 right now, think Gremio is a cloud clone... actually Suikoden one came out in 95, two years before FF7 kinda "revolutionized RPG's" as alot of people who never played them before claim.

Anyway... if I could scan this picture I would... (because it's brutally funny) Gremio sporting his A.X.E., and on his limp wrist, he has a rune...

The True Brokeback Rune... which because of that, I think I can't post the picture even if I knew how. The rune is... obscene looking.

I drew Clive in the background thinking about killing Gremio, because I thought Clive would be a suitable nemesis for him, but I couldn't think of a good enough story.

Oh and Gremio really does have an octopus on his head.

I also left out a few song ideas...

cover of ZZTop's "Pearl Necklace" about the accessory Gremio REALLY wants to give the young master... see? That's nasty, that's why I left that one out.
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Noah · Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:54 am Post subject:

So... what's the verdict...? Am I insane?

But I did like that idea so I started making a "Nanami album project"... I just don't wanna repeat myself and cause a mess of "characters releasing albums" phase on the board.

can anyone tell me the name of the fake special attack she uses at the Kyaro mission?

it's something like True Holy Flower Dragon Tooth Glory Punch... but not quite....
the words true and holy shouldn't appear together... ever.
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Stampede · Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:06 am Post subject:

You, sir, are a magician. Where can I sign up for regular updates on Gremio's career, mailed directly to me?
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Continue to push until it has given, by the way.

Shining_Wizard19 · Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:40 pm Post subject:

Gremio's album rocked, man you got some great ideas for spoofs on characters, hopefully the nanami album will be just as good, and as a musician myself, i might actually try and recreate some of these songs (then post them on myspace), with your permission of course?
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The Captain Of The Watch

Noah · Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:39 pm Post subject:

Go right ahead dude...

I am an English major (can you tell?) not a music major.

Most of these "songs" I have no imagined words... because it was all a big hilarious ride for me... My Nanami project was so full of typos because I was laughing the entire time reading my outline while I was typing it.

"It's Gremio Time" I modelled after this trance song I heard at this club where it just kept repeating the same one line over and over again... I think anybody could make an actually tune (if they knew how)... people actually make money off this kind of crap...

exhibit A: "The Milkshake Song"

But if someone can take my idea and turn it into something, that would be biggest honor I've recieved since I saved the sheriff's kid from drowing while stopping a Sephiroth impersonator from stealing third base.
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Janus Valentine · Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:52 am Post subject: Re: Gremio's Album

Noah · Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject:

How did nobody get where the 'script' from the Recipe 34 came from?

That dialogue is an homage to something... I was hoping somebody caught it.
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Mad Mage · Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:44 pm Post subject:

Just a totally random guess here: The web comic Sexy Losers?

Well, regardless, both this and the Nanami one were a blast to read. I hope you come up with more hillarious Suikoden parody.

Zamza · Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:15 pm Post subject:

The recipe #34 script is almost word for word from an episode of Kids in the Hall. Regardless this thing is frickin hilarious, I never could stand Gremio.

Ninjar · Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:51 pm Post subject:

You just don't understand Gremio. He's the kind of character that takes about 18 playthroughs to grow on you. Never mind that you start dancing around declaring yourself a 'pretty, pretty princess' when he does finally leave his mark.

Zamza · Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:09 pm Post subject:

18 playthroughs? I passed that point a couple years ago, I actually think he gets more annoying the more I play it.

Noah · Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:06 am Post subject:

of course you'd know, I was hoping someone else was going to get it.
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