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Tonberry
The Tonberry Eggsperience
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 Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:15 am Post subject: Funny Japanese People |
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My friend recently sent me to a website where an American-born man talks about his experiences as an English teacher in Japan. The stuff that the students and other teachers do is hilarious. I swear, some are just like anime characters. Anyway, here's the link to the index of anecdotes:
http://www.jengajam.com/r/unbelievably-accounts
Here's a sample, to get you hooked. Just a warning. There is some very mild vulgarity (in speech).
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No afternoon classes, nice weather, and complete and total boredom drove me outside one day, to interact with the kids as they did their sports clubs. This is usually a pretty enjoyable activity, as I can talk freely with them outside of class, and even play along with them from time to time.
I ran into a group of about 10 girls from the badminton club. We exchanged some of the usual banter, ending with the usual - them: "English is very difficult!" (said in English), me: "Maybe. But if you keep studying hard, you can do it!" complete with my "nice guy" pose of a toothy-grin and an exaggerated thumbs-up motion. This is usually enough to get the kids to smile at least, but today these girls weren't phased in the least.
"You do that way too often," one of them said. "You really need a new thing." ...Huh. Tough crowd.
But I have been here for almost 2 years, I can see where the novelty is wearing off. I admitted defeat, and asked them if they had any new ideas for my next pose. They had none. "Isn't that your job?" One of them asked. Yikes. I already feel bad for her future house-broken husband, that bastard just doesn't have a chance. I considered using "Gets!" but decided I had way too much dignity left to sink to that level. ...Anyone who's been in Japan in the last few years already knows what "Gets!" is, but for those of you who haven't, it's basically a cheesy grin, both hands displaying the universal gun finger positions, and saying "Gets!" ...I don't get it either, but it was wildly popular a while back. Oh, and the "pioneer" of this move, a comedian named "Dandy", looks like the ungodly result if Michael Jackson and Carrot Top were to somehow mate. ...Yes, it is every bit as horrible as you imagine.
I tried the overused peace sign along with a cheesy "Yayy!" (think of Ken's win pose from Street Fighter) but this was also met with blank stares. Ok, moving on. I tried the peace sign again, but modified the sound effect...I was thinking something along the lines of a sparkling effect, new and exciting. So I boldly thrust out my peace sign and said "Ching!" ...And here is where the girls badminton club nearly died that day from too much laughing.
Another quick Japanese lesson. I said "Ching!" thinking of a "ching!"-type sound effect. You know, like "Mr. Clean! *ching* Sparkle!" However, you don't really hear the "g" at the end...so to Japanese ears, I said "chin"....which is slang for "penis". So, in effect, I thrust out my peace sign, and with a big toothy grin, excitedly said "penis!" to a group of 15 year old girls.
If this had been America, I'd probably be writing this from jail right now. Luckily it's Japan, where declarations of "Penis!" to underage girls is A-OK.
It took me a minute to realize what I'd said and the staggering rammifications of it all. After the girls (and subsequentially, I) recovered, I begged, I pleaded them to forget I ever said that. "I didn't mean that! That never happened! Cultural misunderstanding! PLEASE FORGET THAT! ...Don't tell your parents." They nodded OK, but I kind of knew an everlasting damage had been done.
I went back on my rounds, and as I circled back around and encountered the girls badminton club once more, they greeted me by thrusting out their peace signs, grinning heartily, and exclaiming "Chin! (penis!)"
Dear Lord, what have I done?
I took a minute to repent in silence, but before I could say anything one girl took the forefront, gave me the peace sign again, and said, in English, "I love chin! (penis!) Oh, you love chin (penis) too!"
For the entire week, the girls from badminton club would, while grinning madly, give me the peace sign as they saw me and, if they could get away with it too, excitedly exclaim "chin! (penis!)" along with it.
Somewhere, Lucifer is busy creating the 10th Circle of Hell, specifically for me. Given that I am now a man who has somehow encouraged 15-year old Japanese girls to thrust out the peace sign and proclaim "penis!", I don't blame him. |
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Drizzt
Rangers Of Mielikki
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, he will have a friend below, waiting for him with open arms (and a pitchfork or two) and crimson flame. That was...weird. I didn't know what to expect as I started reading it, but seeing as the topic was created by the Tonberry King, I had to check it out. This has taught me to not do that too much in the future. :wink:
Well...I don't have anything interesting to add. Sounds like a funny situation though.
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Darko
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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OMG!! This has to be the funniest website I have ever been to. Honestly!! And I'm already hooked on it. I'm on "Kids Say the Dardnest Things 3" and up to this point there hasn't been an entry that was dull or not full of hilarity!!
That must be such an awesome experience...well sorta...if you can develop the Kancho sense, that is!
This guy is hilarious and he's from California! Woop! Go Californians!
I'm going to keep reading his entries...I've been laughing out loud for about almost an hour! Thanks for sharing, EG! :mrgreen:
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Tonberry
The Tonberry Eggsperience
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, I've read those funny speech mix-ups too. They are definately the best things I've read. I have only read about eight entries, but I'll read more when I get time. Just imagine a Japanese girl running around and yelling the word "Breast" all the time. I can see how that distracted him from the arm-wrestling match. |
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Darko
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah and she's got some great teleporting skills according to the teacher. Man, he really knows how to make you visualize these kids doing and saying all those crazy things!
And the Kancho thing...I remember in elementary...ok...nevermind...I better keep that to myself.
But can you image how you'd react to hearing them kids say those things. But I'm pretty he'd experience weird things if he went to Mexico too...to any other country. It's just because it's different and we don't hear about it everyday that it seems weird to us and funny!
The Americanized teacher is awesome. I wish I could meet her.
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Tonberry
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| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, she seems pretty cool. Kancho really frightens me. The dude said that Wikipedia has its own entry about Kancho. I looked, and sure enough, it did. It's so funny to see some things that are done in other countries that would get someone like me arrested in my own country. Yes, the teleporting girl was funny. |
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Firefly
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| Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 2:12 am Post subject: |
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"Kancho Assassin"!!! haha, I can imagine all the little kids running around screaming that, poking people in the ass.
"Bigu Diku" This site is fantastic.
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Ley
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| Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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.......BREASTS.......
Now that's out of the nway, and I've finally read all the way to My Kids are Emo, I feel I have to say I love that blog. The only downside appears to be that once I showed it to people, they all decided Kancho would be great to annoy one another.
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Tonberry
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| Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Oh man, that's pretty funny. I hope you develop a "Kancho Sense." Otherwise, things could get a little interesting for you. |
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Masaya
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| Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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My little host brother and sister in japan once tried to explain to me this crazy game where you hide around the house....soon I relized it was hide and go seek..I can't remember what they called it. But I felt really stupid when I figured it out....jeeze reading some of the editorials kind of makes me miss living over there :-/
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