045 - Red Herrings and White Elephants

[Amyral]

Logan rubbed his head as he sat up. He didn’t know where he was. The blades hung from his side, but his satchel was gone. The room he was in seemed plain enough at first, wooden floors, walls, and a tall ceiling of some sort of glossed, light colored wood, probably oak or something. It wasn’t until his eyes regained focus that he saw the rest of the room. There were cables, almost too thin to be seen, made of some sort of metallic substance. They were spread all over the room, attached to walls, the floor, or just spread taught between two surfaces. Logan nervously looked up. Above him was what looked like an elaborate structure of guillotines. Some were on pendulums while other just on simple cables. At this point Logan knew that they were connected. He slowly made his way to his feet, paranoid about tripping any of the wires.

That was when a panel in the wall above him. As Logan looked up, he saw something crawling out. He couldn’t tell exactly what it was. It was shaped like a man with 2 legs and 2 arms, but moved on the wall like a spider. Its skin was solid black, darker than any skin should be, on half of his body but yet completely pale on the other half. It turned its head, looking over its shoulder at Logan. It had no hair and its eyes were covered with what looked like solid metal goggles. Its mouth was covered with something metallic as well. It was then that Logan noticed that the creature didn’t even have hands. While the arms were shaped normal from the shoulders, they slowly thinned out, ending in what looked like a black point rather than actually hands. But, despite this, it managed to move on the wall, climbing up and horizontally as if it was an overzealous fly. It was then, with its legs and knees firmly attached to the wall somehow, that it bent over backwards in a way that nothing that is at all good and decent in the world should be able to, it’s back was arched in a near 90 degree angle as it held itself to the wall by its knees and feet, which still seemed to defy the laws of physics. It almost seemed as if it could somehow see Logan through the metal pieces that covered his eyes. While still looking at Logan, its hand swung over, cutting one of the cables. Logan almost forgot what it meant as one of the guillotines came swinging down towards him. He dove out of the way just before it hit him as it lodged itself into the wall as if a mountain climber left his pick in the sheer face of a cliff.

Logan looked at the sharp implement that nearly skewered him before lifting his head and looking at the monster. He saw it just as it leapt off the wall, without moving its arms or even its torso, and turned in mid-air, falling straight towards Logan with its pointed arms poised to strike Logan as soon as it was in range.

************************************************** *****
Marco slowly got to his feet. For something to knock it out, it had to be one or both of two things, big or powerful. Whatever it was, it had managed to do so. As Marco made his way to his feet, he looked at the room around him. He wasn’t much for scouting or mundane detail, but whatever had done that probably didn’t intend to just let him walk out as if nothing was going on. The room was small. It looked like it could be the living room of a rent-controlled apartment. A card table with chairs was set up on one side. The walls were white and, although they looked like they were cement, could very well have been as thin as a piece of cheap plywood. There was a couch that looked like it had been salvaged from a dump with an end-table of similar quality.

Whoever had done this to Marco had been stupid enough to leave him with all of his weapons. Something moving out of the corner of his eye caught Marco’s attention. He turned his head to see what looked like a twisted, hairless ape. Its arms were oversized, as if a boxer had made love to a wrecking ball. Its head was proportionately small, as were its waist and legs. Its chest was large enough to make the arms not look like it belongs to a bad polygon character.

Marco rolled his eyes and slipped the cannon attachment onto his rifle, pushing one of the five-shot clips into it. The creature seemed to hear the click, for it turned and charged Marco, letting out a primal cry.

Of course, one of the first and fundamental rules of combat is that one should never rush head on into a person that has a cannon pointed roughly at their head. But this creature didn’t seem too keen on the first rule and attempted such a maneuver anyways. This led to its body mass quickly becoming a dead weight as Marco turned its face into something that could be served at a backwater greasy spoon. He sidestepped the creature, which fell the ground.

Marco could see it still breathing some, which meant that it must have had a skull made of either titanium.

Marco pondered this as he unloaded the rest of the shells and two subsequent clips into the creatures head, chest and back (although not necessarily in that order). When he was sure that the creature was in fact dead, he turned and looked for a door. Finding one placed at the point where the creature had initially lunged, he found that it was conveniently unlocked and opened it. The entire time, he was trying to remember exactly where he had heard the name Carrot Top before.

************************************************** *****

When Costanza woke up, he was sitting down in what looked like an interrogation room from an old cop show, right down to the old light hanging down from the ceiling. There was no good cop in a three piece suit and bad cop in a coffee stained shirt though. Instead, he was remarkably alone in the room.

He stood up and walked to the door, only to find that it was locked. He walked over to the desk that was inevitably in the room and bent over. There was one drawer in it, but Costanza decided that it was best to look under the table first. Seeing no key there, he took a step to the side so he would be directly in front of the drawer when it opened just in case there was a trap in it. As he slowly began to slide the drawer open, the light began to dim. He looked around, slowly shutting the door. As the drawer closed, the light lit up to its normal intensity. He tested the connection between them a few more times before deciding that he was wasting time.

“Screw this,” he muttered to himself as he ripped the drawer out from the desk. The light turned off, but the room was filled with a short of blue glow. A key had fallen from the drawer, so Costanza walked over to pick it up. As he did so, music began playing. It wasn’t particularly eerie music or upbeat music. It was simple, as if it could be played with a small marching band.

“What is this, a musical?” He said aloud.

Almost as soon as he said so, he began to hear words. He looked around, finding that there were no speakers in the room. It was out of the corner of his eye that he first saw it. Something was coming in through the wall, rather it looked like it was phasing through it.

Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there

It was short and translucent, coming up to around his knees. It was walking on its hind legs like a cartoon, looking at him as it walked by. He had to rub his eyes to make sure he was seeing it right. But he was… it was a small, cartoonish, translucent, pink elephant

Pink elephants!
Pink elephants!
Pink elephants on parade!

And, lo and behold, as that one passed by, they began phasing through the wall in a single file line. They all looked at him as they passed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”

Look out! Look out!
Pink elephants on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Pink elephants ev'rywhere.

He ignored the little… whatever they were and walked over to the door. He put the key in and turned it, walking out of the room. Rather, that was what he did, only to find that the room led right back to itself. The door led back to the wall behind the chair, only there wasn’t really a door there, the wall just opened up. Confused, he stood in the doorway and looked back. Sure enough, wall behind the chair was open and he stood there, looking backwards. When he looked the other way, he saw himself again.

Look out! Look out!
They're walking around the bed
On their head
Clippety cloppety
Arrayed in braid
Pink elephants on parade

The song seemed to get louder when he shut the door that led to the room he was already in. There were more elephants, too, now three lines instead of one. He walked over to look at the drawer that was on the ground. He slid it back into the desk, but nothing changed. The elephants were still there and the mysterious spotlight was still there.

What'll I do? What'll I do?
What an unusual view!
I could stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really too much for me

He scowled a bit and walked back to the door. It was locked again. He tuned the key and pressed in and, lo and behold, he was back in the room. The music was louder and now the entire floor was covered with pink elephants, all looking at him as they marched past. Some were even walking through him in their straight lines. His eyes glowed a bit and he chanted something underneath his breath. As he did so, a ring of fire shot out from around him. It caught the tables, chairs, even the floors, walls, and ceiling ablaze. He stood there, in the middle of it as the flames became the only thing he could see. He waited several seconds before lifting his arm and snapping his finger. The fire instantly dissipated, leaving back the room that was sure to be charred.

I am not the type to faint
When things are odd or things are quaint
But seeing things you know ain’t right
Can certainly give you an awful fright!

The room wasn’t charred. In fact, aside for the moments where fire filled the room, there seemed to be absolutely nothing different with it. The wooden desk and chair were just as he had left him and the elephants… the damned elephants… were still marching around the room. Were there more of them now? It seemed like it. The music was still going.

What a sight!
Chase 'em away!
Chase 'em away!
I'm afraid I need your aid
Pink elephants on parade!
Pink elephants!
Pink elephants!

He could hardly take it anymore. He ran to the door, inserted the key, and flung it back towards him. As he did so… there was a hallway. He paused for a moment and looked at the door. He pushed it through the doorway the other way. The sight on the other side was the room he was in, complete with the thousands of tiny pink elephants. He grabbed the door knob and pulled the door through the doorway toward him. The hallway was on the other side. He looked back at the elephants and walked through the door, slamming it shut behind him. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

“What the fuck…”

************************************************** *****

Scott slowly got to his feet. The room he was in was completely bare. Cement walls, cement floors, a cement ceiling and nothing else. There seemed to be a light source somewhere, but he couldn’t see it. The strange thing was that there was no door. He looked around for several moments, running his hand along the wall to see if there were any hidden compartments. There was nothing that he could find. He thought about it for a moment, and then began tapping on the wall with his knuckles.

The sounded strange. There was a sort of muffled echo regardless of where he struck. It was obvious to him, the wall was thin and it seemed that there was nothing on the other side, although someone was trying to hide it. He looked around, finding that there was no cover for him to set off one of the explosives Logan gave him. He took his rifle and loaded it. As he fired one of the high-powered shots, small pieces of cement flew away. Through the small hole, though, a small squirt of water was shooting out. Scott knelt down, looking at it through eye level. Then he heard the sound of the concrete cracking. The entire wall of concrete began to crack, with small squirts and drips coming through.

Scott’s eyes widened just as the wall shattered. The water and concrete slammed Scott into the back water. The room filled as Scott freed himself. He swam through the area that the wall had been and looked around. The room he had been in was completely submerged, from ceiling to floor, in water. He looked around for an exit only to find that this area was completely full of water. Not knowing what else to do, he swam upwards slamming his hands on the ceiling, hoping that it was as thin as the walls of the room were. He found himself unable to do anything as his breath left him.

************************************************** *****

“That’s really fucked up, Cost.”

Costanza nodded back at Marco. “You’re telling me.”

Marco and Costanza had found each other wandering through the maze of corridors that they now appeared to be trapped in. As they walked on, the floor knocked beneath them.

“What the…”

There was another knock below them. Costanza looked over to Marco. “Better be safe about it.”

Marco nodded and pulled out his cannon, blowing a hole into the concrete. As the dust cleared Costanza’s eye’s widened.

“Scott!?”

He reached in, grabbing his teammate’s arm and pulled him through the floor.

It took Scott several minutes to catch his breath and spit up the water he had swallowed. When he was finished, he sat up. “Th…thanks…”

Marco smirked, helping Scott up. “Don’t mention it.”

Scott slowly made his way to his feet, looking around. “Hey… Where’s Logan?”

************************************************** *****

Logan dove to the side just as the creature’s claw… point… things slammed into the ground. Its left arm shot out in an arc, slashing Logan across his face. Logan yelled and grabbed his face. The creature’s feet slammed into Logan’s chest, knocking Logan across the room. As he hit the wall, one of the cables snapped and one of the pendulums swung down. He managed to jump to the side, but guillotine cut across his leg. Logan grabbed it as the creature made another charge at him.

He looked back at the cables and grinned. He dove through them, beginning to follow the same path he had come in. The creature paused, seeming to know the trap well enough. Logan winced and opened his medical kit, intent on using the brief respite to take care of his wounds when he noticed several small packets. He grins and began to rifle through the kit, taking out a few of the small packets, a tongue depressor and another small packet. He took out a small ball of gauze and dipped it in the mixture, carefully lifting it up.

The creature stabbed at him, but it was too far to hit. Logan grinned and dove out the side. The creature began to climb on the wall and Logan waited. As soon as the creature landed, Logan lit the ball of gauze and hurled it at the creature. There was a small explosion. Logan was thrown back into a wall of the room while the creature was knocked into the cables. Logan could hear it scream as the blades sliced down.

Logan breathed heavily, leaning back. “Glyceryl trinatrate… Nitroglycerine… it’s a vasodilating agent used for heart conditions. Combine with wood pulp from a tongue depressor and sodium from smelling salts and it makes a crude explosive. All it needed was a light,” he said, grinning as he held up the lighter in the pack, used for sterilization.

“Hey… are you ok?” he heard a familiar voice from behind him say. Logan packed his medical bag and flung it over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”