Roommates and potential problems

[TheAngelicSin]

Hey, I figured since this topic has been on my mind quite a bit lately I may as well bring it up here, too.

I don't know how many of you have or have had a roommate before - whether you had one for college or just in an apartment or even on a school trip - but I was wondering what everyone thought about sharing a room with someone?

Personally, this is my first year at my University and I somehow ended up with a double instead of the quad I asked for. I've been having a LOT of problems with my roommate and mainly due to lack of communication. In fact, I've signed up for a room switch to a single to try and run from my problems with her but it seems I'll be stuck here since any and all the available singles are available either on the half of campus I don't want to be on or in the other building complex that I don't care much for. So I'm going to have to talk to her soon about our differences.

So what's my problem with this roommate? Well, my roommate and her cheerleader boyfriend (I say this beause they both travel together since they're both on the squad) are always here - even at night. He sleeps here on her bed with her (which THANKFULLY has some kind of drape hanging on the ceiling to cover anything from sight!). Unfortunately, I still was able to hear things I didn't want to hear, if you know what I mean. My problem with talking to her about it is that everytime she's here...he's here! Or if he walks out - someone walks in to talk to her - so I don't get a moment to actually speak one-to-one with her. In fact, I don't even get to study much because the noise level here is disgusting (and now I no longer turn down the music because every time I do I hear her stuff louder than mine initially was, etc). ;P So I'd say I've got it pretty bad - but I guess what's good is we have a roommate contract we're required to fill out soon - so maybe I can chase her boyfriend out for a while and establish that I'm uncomfortable with this damned guy always being around.

So, what do you guys think about roommates? ;P Any of you had any problems with your own or heard any horror stories? Come on, cheer me up, try to find something worse for me to compare my own situation to. ;)
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[Solitude]

Well your situation definatly sucks. Yeah having to hear a couple go at it is certainly disgusting, but think of it this way, at least they're not in your bed.

The only way I could see the situation being worse is if the boyfriend always brought over a pet dog or something and it crapped all over your things. Then you would have to clean that out and it would always smell like dog in your place.

Just try and pull her aside and talk to her in a mature way about the situation. If you can never get her alone like you say even if you yank her into the hallway or something you will just have to call her out and make a spectical. However, you must use caution because things like these have the potential to ruin friendships. She may get so angry at you she may just start doing it in your bed just to retaliate. Let just hope that doesn't happen.

Mmmm.... I guess that wasn't a very cheery message like you asked for. Uhh... darn can't think of any good jokes either. *Grumble, Grumble*

[Locke]

Bummer, I dunno if it would help, but you could write your roomate a note that you wanna talk to her for a few minutes and hopefully she'd find time to talk. Just be like hey, there's something going on that bothers me and I need to talk about it. Suggest the whole if I ain't around and you and your boyfriend need some time so hang something on the doornob so that I know to stay away for awhile. I've had friends who have had roomates, and yeah there was you know what from one room. Also the place was a mess, soda cans, fast food stuff, etc everywhere. Food stealing also was happening. I had the chance to move in there, but after visiting that didn't happen. Also, if he and her keep up their acctivities their grades will probably suffer and eventually flunk out.

Also, you wanna hear something that sucks. Good old Mr. picky when it comes to women finds one he's interested in. One thing, she has a kid. Thats something at this stage of my life I'm not ready for. I've been thinking about that for a week and I had to decide to stay away from that. I'm 22, I have enough trouble keeping an eye on myself. I don't need to worry about some kid or some gal who just maybe after temp daddy.
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Legendary Locke


3 Time Suikox WWE Fantasy Champion

[sybillious]

the 'sock' or whatever on the doorway is fine, but this also leads to abuse of this sort of thing; soon, it's once a day, then twice, then more and more, until you find yourself sleeping in the lounge more times than not.

talk with her first to see if she's open to try and work this out amicably *you're paying to be there too, so you have rights...enforce them!* if not, time to talk to housing about your 'double roommate' situation. colleges frown on this sort of thing, and should take it very seriously. this might get you a new roommate or a new room altogether.

if that doesn't work for you, maybe finding a few buds willing to chip in to split rent on a reasonable home might do the trick; this way, you'll have your own space without the 'extras.'

good luck on this one...
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prinny...DOOD!

gotta gotta get a...SPICE WEASEL!

to paraphrase my fellow mod, parallax:
I hate my job with the passionately burning intensity of a thousand fiery suns.

[Locke]

Also there is the whole, oops, forgot to put the 'sock' on the door. Sorry you had to see that. Is this a coed dorm or a single gender dorm. Because if its female only you could, if you wanted to go that route get him and her in trouble for curfew. Assuming that you have a curfew there which I assume you do.

And if they can get it on for multiple times many days, I'd be impressed in a strange sorta way...dang
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Legendary Locke


3 Time Suikox WWE Fantasy Champion

[TheAngelicSin]

We have "quiet hours" but that's about it. And our guest policy seems to be pretty lax although I'm quite sure it said in the residence life book no "guests of the opposite gender" allowed to stay overnight. Then again it says you can't have two 4.3 cubicfoot refrigerators in a double dorm but... hey no one's said anything about that violation thusfar - so I don't believe many of those rules are put into effect (well the refrigerator I'm hiding beneath the towel in my avatar when the RA comes - since, he too, is lax ;P).

I honestly wouldn't care if they wanted to be alone during the day since I usually don't stay in my actual room. In fact, I'm mainly in the lounge or out roaming around campus now that I've made some good friends up here (although I still prefer to wing it solo most of the time 'cause that's just how my personality wants it to be).

I guess it would help if I weren't so quiet but I like the note idea. I'll probably end up doing that if he's around all day tomorrow, too. Which, unfortunately, he probably will be. I also have to get the whole roommate contract done according to the RA so if all else fails it's obvious that it'll come up then (and it's not like she's just going to forge my signature or something - I at least believe we're supposed to hand it to our RA in the end with our names signed). M'eh.

Finding a home to stay in would be inconvenient for me - even an apartment. There are some by the university but it wouldn't be practical. I'm 18, my father's a driving instructor and I don't know how to drive at all. :D Yeah that wasn't a great move was it? Plus, everyone's happy here (my friends). Only one person's unhappy but I'd rather... not dorm with her either (too hyperactive - even for me). So I'm basically still stuck on the waiting list for singles if/when they become available. But at this point that's still a last resort and I still have to wait for the people who decide they have someplace better to be, whether home or out of school, decide to take the final step out of their dorms and into the world.

Locke, sorry to hear that. Unless you really like her I wouldn't advise starting something at this stage in your life with her. Then again if you see her a lot and start to like the kid it wouldn't be such a bad thing - well unless you guys broke up and the kid got attached to you... wow, sorry. I'd make a comment on the guy that led me on through my Junior year of high school but I don't think it'd make your situation sound any different. Well, good luck finding someone "Mr. Picky." :) Same story here trying to find someone (it's not working! In fact, the guy I'm interested in now seems to have a personality parallel to mine - which isn't too great a thing when you want to meet someone and talk :? )
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[Solitude]

[Gwendal]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I`d never want to share an apartment with someone if I can avoid it, at least for now. I like my privacy. :wink:

Anyway, I hope things work out for you.
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[Kohaku]

...Well, i've lived alone for about 3 years, and there had been 2 roomates since then. One from my own country (Indonesia), and one from Korea (he's still with me now). Actually, there's never been any big problem for me, since we live together with respect for each other. The only damn problem is language. My korean roomate, Lee Bin (or whatever, i've never know his full name), can't speak english, and his Indonesian is bad also (yeah at least for last year, now his Indonesian is really improved, but still no english) so for the first three months we communicate using "Tarzan" language (heheh). I enjoyed live with him (well, it actually because he had a lot of beautiful friends, most of them are japanese, and he didn't mind sharing with me :mrgreen: ).
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[TheAngelicSin]

"Tarzan" language sounds like an interesting idea Schala. ;) Maybe I can signal her out of the room trying something similar. But I already use "stabbing" motions when I'm sitting in the lounge and hear her voice. ^^; Yeah, so sometimes I get a little annoyed.

Blargh, that guys still here - and I ended up sleeping through my German class (we have a test Friday he probably told us what to study damn it) and World Civ recitation. :D AND I didn't study for Calculus and have a test soon - but that part's my own fault. Yay for not owning my own room. >P

Thanks Gwendal x_x I hope they work out, too... soon
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[Cyrano]

dude, just go ask to speak to her one-on-one (not of course when she's f******) but when she just talk or at the least talk to both since since its THEM who are making the noise. just ask "" can i talk to you for a minute in private please??


hard to think, easy to do. :wink:
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" humans are like monkeys with no shaggies."

[Daniel Blackhand]

Having a roommate can be a hard thing. I had two roommates who were supposed to be my best friends that ended up sticking me with a huge bill that I had to pay for myself. If it's a roommate you don't know I would be extra careful with the person because you don't know what they will do.
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[Snowe Vingerhut]

I agree with sybilious about telling the college supervisors about it if it interfers with you doing your schoolwork or sleeping.
I mean, you have to pay to be there, you want to do the best you can the first time around.
You and your roomate sound too different for it to work out very well.
As for getting a place outside of school, who is to say that you won't have the same problems there as well?
Hopefuly you can get a single dorm room. Good luck whichever way you decide to do it.

[Dakota]

My sister and I share a room at my mom's house and she invites her boy friend over to spend the night they did there "Thing" and I was across the room trying to ignore the terrible sounds but the sad thing is they didn't have a curtain or anything to cover up, dear god..... :shock:
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Its height.

[Aurelien]

My serious suggestion is to talk to her one on one by asking politely to the boyfriend to go somewhere else for a while (just say that it's a girl thing or whatever). Then confront her about how you're uncomfortable with what they did in their part of the room. If it's not possible, just talk to some other students and ask how they deal with such problem if they've experienced it before, who knows if they got a good tip to solve the problem.

Now my more "fun and beneficial" suggestion is for you to go buy a webcam (or use yours if you have one already). Set it up facing their bed and of course make a website about it and charge like $4.99 a month or something. Or you could just watch and hopefully they are going to be the one being uncomfortable being watched like that. Reverse psychology sometimes works. >=D
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