MYSTERY SOLVED: Why is Lepant so Orange?

Icebergin

MYSTERY SOLVED!
By The Icebergin

Yes, that's right, I've followed all the leads, turned every page. And I've come to the conclusion of one of Suikoden's greatest mysteries.

WHY IS LEPANT SO ORANGE!?

Let's see the facts:

1)Lepant is married: Being married to a woman as beautiful as Eileen, Lepant was most definitely concerned about how he appeared. He has a beautiful fair skinned wife, so of course he sought to change his appearance in order to capture her heart. Thus, his orange-like skin tone is not natural, but a form of cosmetic surgery in the Suikoden world.

2)Sheena is fair skinned: If you know anything about genetics, Sheena got his looks from his mom, who is also fair skinned and attractive. Lepant, on the other hand, is macho and buff, dark-skinned and all-around manly. Sheena, his son apparently has Lepant's teenage personality, with his mother's looks. Thus, we may infer that Sheena's vanity in himself is the same that Lepant would have had at a younger age.

3)Lepant likes warm colors. Yeah, have you ever seen this guy? His clothes are an orange-yellow, his hair is orange and his skin is hued to match! Although he was nice enough to wear a green cloak so that while in battle, we weren't subject to being blinded by his orangeness. So, we can say that the Red, Orange, Yellow parts of the spectrum are Lepant's favorite colors. Even his sword "Kirinji" is named after the Sindaar word for "Orange". (You heard it here first!)

4)Lepant was a successful merchant. Yes, living in Kouan, Lepant made his millions of potch as a merchant. But one would wonder where all this comes from? What exactly is he selling? Well, my sources tell me it was Kanakan wine, Zexen horses, and Karayan whores! Now, the horses are understandable, as is the wine. But the whores? Sources say that outcasted Karayan women (and) men were sold to Lepant and in turn sold into Toran for quite some time. Of course, when he met Eileen, he stopped what he was doing in order to impress her and get her to fall in love with him.

MYSTERY SOLUTION:
Lepant, the vain man he was got all his muscle mass from working out so he could constantly gaze at himself in the mirror surrounded by exotic Karayan whores. Until, Eileen captured his heart. But, in his vanity he realized he would have to really stand out from the crowd to capture her heart. He heard that she like dark-skinned men, so he started tanning, day in and day out. However, Toran doesn't have an import for tanning lotion, so he used the Kanakan wine as a tanning oil! The wine's color seeped into Lepant's skin and stained it a deep orange-hue! Lepant was astonished at how golden orange he was! He found himself to be beautiful in his favorite color... thus, he went on to meet Eileen. And she taught him love of another and not of one's self and a lot of other crap. Now, he's a pansy President of Toran. (How can you be president if no one votes for you... KING LEPANT!?)

Another mystery solved!
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leena fighter · Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 2:21 pm Post subject:

Wow. Just ... wow. Your insight into the Suikoden world of fake-tanning is beyond compare.

And that's not even total sarcasm. I believe it!

Gwendal

Daniel Blackhand · Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 10:53 pm Post subject:

That's a great theory and may even be right. I applaud you on the time your taking to track all this info down, keeo up the great work.
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Darkmagus · Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:01 pm Post subject:

Interesting theory. It sounds realistic, too. I would have never thought of rubbing wine into the skin.
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Gaius Abruscato · Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 11:54 pm Post subject:

I like the idea of tanning-aid wine. It's deffinately an origional thought. Not sure if I believe it all, but it makes a nice case. You are insightful in a most unique way, even if it also sounds a bit crazy. ...a lot crazy.

Fun deductive reasoning 'solves' another unsolvable mystery!
You planning a whole series of 'Mysteries solved?' If so, I look forward to reading your next.

Icebergin · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 12:02 am Post subject:

Yes, and I encourage you PMing me your mysteries you want to see solved.

And for those of you that have, fear not... your mysteries are coming soon!
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Lepant · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 1:12 am Post subject:

hey! orange is cool.that is why my nick name is Lepant.and anyway what dos it matter to you than Lepant is so orange.
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after live...there is death..but after death..is there life??

Kobold · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 1:16 am Post subject:

Cool... really cool... Entertaining and interesting...
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Kobolds are great!

Aurelien · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 1:51 am Post subject:

You should be SARSadmin's right hand man, dude. Marvelous and excellent way of solving mysteries. Thumbs up for you.
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~City-States of Jowston and Tinto Republic~
06.06.2004 - 20.01.2008

Ferid Egan · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 7:12 am Post subject:

Seems like a lot of work to track all this stuff down but great job on all the work.
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Blade be true this day.

Malc · Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 12:31 pm Post subject:

I real question is, why is Hulk Hogan so orange? :P

Cirape · Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 4:36 pm Post subject:

deadfoxx · Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:14 pm Post subject:

Hes actually orange cuz hes a fan of Carrot juice and vodka. he spent too much time before the war with some whores drinking and eating steroid enhanced cheetos. :mrgreen:
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Strength and speed are nothing. Skill and technique that is how you win a battle.

Icebergin · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 2:12 am Post subject:

I hope you're speaking of Hulk Hogan...

and if you are

8 Simple Rules for Dating Hulk Hogan's Daughter
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