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Deathperm Armageddon

 
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Shad

Midnight


Joined: 25 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 5:42 pm    Post subject: Deathperm Armageddon Reply with quote Add User to Ignore List

It's too hot out and I'm bored.

"This next chapter better come pretty quick," Gades complained as he, Glenn, and Kevin sat around the Houston base. "I need an excuse to test out the Enterprise's new iceberg defense system."

"I don't think we'll be needing THAT again," Glenn shook his head. "Fighting evil is serious business these days."

"But it's not fair!" Kevin argued. "I wait on these lousy authors for half a year to get their acts together, they call me back for what, two weeks, and then it's all over?"

"Agreed," Gades nodded. "There must be some way to pass the time."

"I have a plan guys!" Glenn spoke up. "We should all... go get some Sbarro pizza!"

"What? That's a horrible idea," Kevin replied. "They aren't even very good."

"Are you kidding me? They make the BEST stromboli!"

"You fool, do you even know what that entails?!" Gades shouted. "They only have Sbarros at SHOPPING MALLS."

"THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE---"

"Oh God no!" Kevin screamed. "Fine! Have it your way! We'll get your stupid stromboli, no matter what it takes..."

---------------------------------------

A shopping mall in Houston...

"My god..." The three of them froze fast as they walked through the double doors into the food court. Plain white t-shirts with "$100 Sale!" posters, pasty white boys in fishnet tank tops, twelve year old girls in short shorts.... It was a scene straight out of a horror film.

"I will never forgive you for this..." Kevin shook his head, but Glenn was already staring down the Sbarro in the corner. "Let's just get it over with.... What the hell are you doing Gades?!"

"Oh oh! Nothing!" He broke out of his mesmerized gaze and crammed a handful of tootsie rolls back into his pocket. "Let's do this!"

They had almost reached the pizza stand when a burglar alarm went off. The people in the mall paid no attention, but these three knew better.

"They're trying to steal my stromboli!" Glenn screamed.

"No you idiot, look," Kevin motioned across the lobby. "It's coming from that Bed, Bath, and Beyond. We better check it out."

Glenn, Kevin, and Gades sprinted across the plaza. "Everyone stay calm! We've got the situation under control!" Kevin shouted, pulling a high-powered rifle out of his jacket.

The store looked ravaged when the Fighters got inside. The shelves were all stripped bare, and the attendants just stared at the back of the room.

"What's going on here?!" Gades yelled, a shotgun in hand, but no one flinched or said a word.

"This is an emergency!" Glenn screamed, brandishing his sword. "Where are the culprits?!"

"In... the dressing room.... so.... beautiful....." a woman finally stammered, never taking her gaze off the back of the store.

They flung the door open. Four men crowded around a mirror before them, powdering their faces. Their hair fell in curls down their backs, clear down to their diamond-studded skin-tight pants. Glenn was not shaken, at first. "This is a civilian arrest! Put down your make-up and surrender."

"Do you hear that Cooki? Looks like these boys want to play."

"Well you heard him. Hit it Sasha!"

One of the men hoisted up a huge cassette player and hit start.

"Oh my God..." Kevin grimaced, as ear-splitting hair metal filled the room.

"Are you ready Ginger?"

"Hold on Syk, I need some more rouge."

"Oh, let me help you with that." Two of the men turned to each other, their faces still obscured by hair. "There you go."

"Alright, let's get 'em!"

Glenn's sword fell to his side as the four men turned around, the music still blaring. He tried to speak, but he just stammered, shaking, frozen.

"Would you look at that. It's the Freedom Fighters!"

"I never thought we'd see them so soon!"

"It makes no difference Sash," Syk said, tossing his hair. "Listen up heroes! We're bad boys, and if you don't want us to rock you straight to hell you better stand down! I don't know how you caught on to us so fast, but you'll never stop us from bringing back hair metal! Never! We, Blue Steel, will rock the world!"

The four men struck a glamorous pose, and the Freedom Fighters fell to their knees. Glenn was helpless to stop them as they raced out of the store, bags of cosmetics in hand.

"Such evil..." Kevin stammered.

"I never knew such sinister villains still plagued this world..." Gades shook his head.

---------------------------------------

The Freedom Fighters walked slowly out of the store, devastated by their humiliating defeat. Glenn knew of only one way to raise his spirits...

"...I'll have a stromboli please ma'am, with extra sauce."

"I'm sorry, a bunch of really beautiful girls just came through, and I was so astonished that I just gave it all to them." She shrugged. "Strange girls, one of them pinched my butt."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!"

To be continued.........?
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