Why Do Girls Like Bad Guys?

[Alluminitti]

I've read this :

[Thor McOdin]

I am replying for kicks here, so let's see what I can come up with.

First off, it is important to know what age group we are talking about here. This does work with junior high as I have seen it happen. Hey, once you met that kid who had two cigars...man, he had all the girls! In high school, while I didn't witness a lot of it, some elements were still there. I lived in Korea during my high school years, so nothing on the spectrum matches up. However, I did see many different things going on. The "bad boys" were the "rebels" and the Korean or Amer-Asian gals were drawn to this, mostly because it was a way to get away from their parents. The "Nice Guy" didn't really factor in at all, and one of my best friends made that known every time I talked to him.

However, in college, things are perceived in a different light. The popularity issue as well as status is prevalent in college, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. Basically, it all comes down to how one perceives himself, or rather, how he wishes to be perceived. As long as you are friendly and approachable, this theory (for the most part) goes kapoot. Basically, we are trying to meet new people during this transitional period. However, once you display that you are shy, introvertish, or anything of the sort, this spectrum becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way, suggesting that the male could have tried harder to make his presence known, but he didn't really feel like trying. Several of my friends have been on both spectrums, so to speak, but I have seen disaster come to both of them. The nice guy rants about how he is ignored, while the bad boy tells me that he can get any girl that he wants...even though I know that he is lying in order to save face. Perhaps an example of this could be seen in Boomhauer on "King of the Hill". During one episode, the "ladies man" takes Bobby to the mall in order to show him how to pick up women. The only problem is that Boomie fails twenty times in a row before finally getting one phone number. The lesson? Persistence!


By the way, what is the source of this spectrum? Were you reading Cosmo?

[Schala-Kid]

Nice guys. there's no such thing, unless we're talking ultra religious straight edge people. this spectrum is very very rare that it falls into the "not normal" human behaviour.

i think if anything, a "nice guy" is an average guy, you're right. about normal temper and tolerance, and all that. and that's okay. he'd take a stand for himself when he feels he has to, he won't get taken advantage of, and he won't resort to violence first.

whereas, when you talk jerk, i think, a guy who would and can call a woman "bitch" "ho" or other names, hit her, be an asshole to pretty much every single person in the world FOR NO GOOD REASON, has a horrible temper, is controlling, posessive, slobby, and generally is the worst type of person to be put on the planet.

now, those are my definitions, so, the two "Extremes" are not that common, if the majority of men lie in the middle ground.

the tendency for me was to lean a bit more towards the jerk side, maybe because I like guys who are not shy. i like men who can talk, and have opinions, who think, and are not just a person, but a being with personality, thoughts, and feelings, with the ability to make these things known.

Shy men, in my experience, do not dance. shy men do not tend to try different things. shy guys make girls make decisions. shy guys DO IN FACT make girls realise the guy is "whipped" and, i personally, when/if i felt that way about anyone, i wouldn't continue the relationship, because this aspect is very hard for a person to change and i wouldn't change that in a person anyway, and i'd like to feel in a relationship that my partner is an equal, and we are not dependant on each other, just two people who enjoy each others company to want it to be exculsive.

i suppose wanting an equal can be taken to mean "i want someone like me", which sounds very vain. but i think the only person you can put up with in life is yourself, so maybe having a simular outlook/reaction to your environs would make a relationship work more smoothly.

I love dancing, but i've never been able to share this with any guy i've dated because they were all "too shy". so that's a deal breaker for me. shyness isn't cute or a quality that an adult should have. "i'm shy" is like saying "i'm too afraid to face the world", and if you can't get that in 20 years, then jesus, you never will.

okay, so i sould like a jerk expressing my learned opinion, see, that's not shy. i like friendly people, i like being around people, i can easilly jump up make a speech and get everyone's attention, or just be quiet. if a girl was with a shy nice guy, who's all quiet in the corner and she personally has a lively friendly disposition, what on earth does she say to his friends "yeah, he's shy, he's quiet, he doesn't like dancing in public and it seems like we've got nothing in common....but he's a really nice guy" doesn't really sound like she's done well enough.

I've always wondered about video-game and/or anime fans. what do they describe themselves as?

James Spader, Plays a character on Boston legal plays a perverted smarmy and weird jerk of a lawyer. Yup, Jerk. but even amongst that, he displays compassion, and the knowledge that he doesn't quite connect well with people and displays some desire for normality, so even though he goes from jerk (not the wife-beating kind) to nice guy, he comes out normal, and for me ultra damn sexy because he uses both extremes.

There is no changing people. you learn this when people try changing you, and you just will not like it, not one bit. why in Gods name would you do it to anyone else? Why? Just don't do it to each other, please.

[Hawk Thanatos]

[Schala-Kid]

[Ujitsuna]

Thats right, robbing the banks and beating people attracts the ladies to me, I need to beat the women off sometimes. :shock:

[Masa]

I think I'd only get into a relationship that neccessitated dancing if it meant I got something, you know, for me in exchange. Something better than dancing (unless dancing is like, DDR or something).

Oh so much better.

Vs. mode on Super Smash Bros. That would be like, the way we would wrap up the romantic evening I had to put up with.

I dunno where I stand on the Jerkometer. I can be a jerk when I want to, but I'm generally thoughtful. However while I can be quite talkative, like hawk I avoid small talk. Well, kinda. I'm all about talking about nothing. But women and their crazy woman-minds are all like, "Nooo. Let's talk about something substantial and logical" and my mind is blown. BLOWN, gone. Where did it go!?

But in general my women-hunting is severely limited by my general apathy. I have no problems communicating or anything. I can even have serious conversations! It's just, you know, I don't do the whole wooing or asking out thing. I figure, I'm so incredibly awesome, I don't need to. Arrogance. It's great. No really.
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[Aurelien]

While I'm not a girl, I think it's very safe to say that not all girls like bad guys. I think it's more accurate that most girls tend to like a guy that is similar to the what the girl is like. A party girl would like a party boy. A professional girl would like a professional boy. A shy girl would like a shy boy. And so on. It's just that it seems that girls like bad guys because to me, there are more shy boys than shy girls which means that there are more unwanted shy boys. This results in thinking that most girls want bad guys.

About a month ago, there was a reality show called "Yasmin's Getting Married" in Australia (I've heard similar concept was done in some other place before, but can't be sure). It only lasted a week before being cancelled due to poor ratings, but that's beside the point (just to say that I have no idea what happened to Yasmin now). In this show, Yasmin was clearly aiming to find Mr.Right, and one of her complaints about her ex-boyfriends is that they were all not nice guys. Yasmin wanted a nice guy. The first guy that dated Yasmin was a typical nice guy (the show had 3-4 "experts/celebs" discussing about the guy and they all agreed that this guy was indeed a nice guy and should be perfect for what Yasmin looked for) . Yasmin bailed out after 2 dates stating that there was no connection etc.

The second guy that dated her was someone who is still nice (just not as typical as the first nice/shy guy), but this one has more badboy look with the piercings and the way he dressed, etc. Instant connection. She seemed to be really into him. Of course I don't know what happened afterwards since the show was already cancelled by then, but it clearly showed that despite saying that she wanted a nice guy, Yasmin cannot lie to herself and pretend that she actually liked the nice guy.

Now what I find interesting/relevant is the fact that Yasmin herself is not a typical nice/shy girl. She works professionally, but she is a half party girl too. That's why when dating a guy who is such a nice/shy guy like the first guy, she felt no connection at all. One of the experts/celebs mentioned that it was a result of her being exposed to the typical bad guys (party boys) that she dated in the past. So much that when she was given someone who was genuinely nice/shy, she felt as if she's in foreign territory. She had no clue of what to do, how to react, and stuff. She could not connect herself with the other person for romantic level. It felt weird to her. And I agree with that comment.

This is further supported by Schala-Kid's case too. She's definitely a nice girl, but she loves dancing. She's going to prefer a guy who can dance than a guy who can't dance. And I'm sure that 99.99% of the girls here would also like to have a boyfriend that shares similar affection to what the girls like. Therefore, girls like guys that are similar to themselves. Not to say that girls are full of themselves (because they're not), but it's just one of the things that happen most of the times.
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~City-States of Jowston and Tinto Republic~
06.06.2004 - 20.01.2008

[sybillious]

bp has hit on a strong point; psychologists even suggest what he's saying. we prefer people who are most like ourselves for a long term relationship.

there are those who prefer the bad boy/spoiled beauty queen, but how long do those relationships last? how stable are they? not long and not very; people don't like long term hassles: drama, infidelity and unreliability bring these problems to the forefront, where the problems become more than the relationship, rather than having the focus being the actual interaction between the couples, outside of problems.

we look for someone that is like ourselves (not fully, of course) because it says something about us: we're a bit egotistical and are looking for the best qualities within ourselves in another person.

not the drama queen with eleventy million shoes and just as many credit cards, a cell phone glued to her ear and a psychologist; not the 'mr. badass' who's always in fights, getting drunk and chasing everything in a skirt. we want someone who doesn't overly complicate our lives; someone who'll go through good and bad, a person who'll listen.

there are exceptions, but so few...take a look at most marriages; are the couples alike or different in manner? usually alike, since it's more likely to produce a stable home life.
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prinny...DOOD!

gotta gotta get a...SPICE WEASEL!

to paraphrase my fellow mod, parallax:
I hate my job with the passionately burning intensity of a thousand fiery suns.

[Yvl]

[Hawk Thanatos]

The spectrum should be more like this anyway:

Ned Flanders--------------"Nice Guy"--------|------Middle--------------"Jerk"--------------Asshole

|=ME!

[Oppenheimer]

[Inko]

[Pierrot Le Fou]

*This is kinda' off topic.

EDIT: no, this is very off topic; if you want to post something unrelated, find the appropriate topic, or create one. it's a rule, follow it.
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A not unblack dog was chasing a not unsmall rabbit across a not ungreen field.

[Delsaber]

Different people are attracted to different things. Quiet, nice, shy, outgoing, dangerous, loud... deep fuchsia with just a twist velvet, whatever. There really isn't any single universal trait which draws in the womenfolk. Or the menfolk, for that matter. If some people happen to be rigid and inflexible regarding their ideal companions, that's too bad. But that's the exception, not the rule.

On a somewhat related note, the first person to quote "the ladder theory" gets a nice swift kick upside the head. Conversations on this subject always seem to bring it up eventually. I wonder if there's a Godwin's Law equivalent for that?